Being in "good health" means to be in both good mental and good physical health. To be in a good state of mental health, you need to know how to deal with stress and have a positive attitude towards life.

A positive attitude also can help in combatting disease. People who triumph in life have a tremendous sense of self-esteem.

It is normal for everyone to experience stress in their lives. In fact, it's inevitable. Some things that occur normally in your life produce stress without your even noticing it.

What kinds of things? Exercise is a form of stress that is "good," for instance. And there's that keyed-up feeling that's sometimes called "stage fright," before you give a performance or a speech. You're nervous -- but properly controlled, the feeling gives extra energy to your efforts.

Even new things you want to do -- like buying a new house, moving across the country or taking a new job -- are stressful. "Bad" stress includes the death of a relative and overwork.

What is stress? It's something Mother Nature built into us way back in evolutionary time to prepare us to meet and survive the unexpected. It is meant to induce the "fight or flight" response, to let us overpower enemies or escape from them.

When we react to something we perceive as danger, the body pumps out a series of hormones that make us more alert and ready to act. The heart beats faster, blood pressure goes up and muscles get tense. If we act on these signals with our physical body -- by running or fighting, for example -- all this energy gets used up.

But in our modern society, the stress confronts us at work or at home, not in the form of a lurking saber-toothed tiger. So the body's "alert" gets turned in other directions.

Sometimes we can exercise, such as going for a run to "chill out." But if we can't move about, the stress keeps pumping the hormones into the bloodstream until they assault the blood vessels, the heart, the immune system and the liver.

This produces such problems as high blood pressure, ulcers, headaches, chronic muscular tension, high cholesterol levels and heart attacks. In women it can also cause menstrual irregularities.

You can't eliminate stress from your life. In fact, you don't really want to. Some stress helps you focus your energies, sort out your priorities, make decisions and perform better. The secret is knowing how to control stress.

People who don't know how to control stress in a positive manner often use alternatives that are just plain unhealthy -- drinking, smoking, drug abuse or overwork. Stress can also lead people to mentally or physically abuse their children and spouse. It's even linked to motor-vehicle accidents.

Dealing with stress is hard for women and can be even harder for men. It's okay for a woman to cry, to admit something is wrong, to find solace with a friend or to seek professional help. But society makes it very hard for men to let themselves do these things.

Women sometimes need to learn to say No to another task and instead take time off for their own needs. But some women find it very difficult to learn to relax, especially if they have a busy lifestyle and small children.

Women most of the time are care-givers, to husbands, children, parents and relatives. Who's at the very end of the line for receiving care? Women ourselves.

I suggest to my patients to see themselves as a battery that needs to be recharged from time to time. Otherwise, the battery (and the woman) runs out of power just when it's needed most.

Fortunately, there are many ways to relieve stress. Exercising regularly, learning about relaxation techniques, yoga, meditation, stretching, guided visual imagery, biofeedback, prayer, massage, music, self-help groups, progressive muscle relaxation -- all of these can help.

Here's an easy way for the busy woman to replenish her energy supply.

Find a place in the house and associate it in your mind with a place of self-renewal. It may not be a tropical island, but if the only place in the house where you can be alone is the bathroom, make it your recharging zone!

Inform the other household members that when Mommy is in the bathroom she should NOT be disturbed. After a long day, take a warm shower or, even better, a warm bath.

While playing with the water, think about something that brings you joy -- like walking on the beach, feeling the wind blow on your face and curling the soft, warm sand between your toes.

When we're stressed we tend to take quick, shallow breaths. To reduce stress, take the opposite tack -- slow, deep breaths, inhaling deeply and holding the air for a few seconds, then releasing the air very gradually. The result can be excellent for your mind and your body.